Unable or Unwilling?

    Why is it that when something goes wrong and someone fails at what we might consider a relatively simple task we get angry and reprimand them? Our frustrations may get the better of us and we lash out to punish them to get a change in the behaviour.   After all they should be able to do this task or they have done this task before.  You have explained to them what you want and they have acknowledged that they can do it. So clearly if it doesn't get done or is done incorrectly it must deserve some sort of punitive action to ensure it doesn't happen again. 

    Unfortunately unless the action was deliberately to sabotage the task at hand, punishment is not only infective, it can actually have further negative consequences. 

    A solution to this is to consider the intent of the individual.  If the intent is malicious, or if the person does not care at all about fulfilling their expected duties then punitive action could be called for.   But more often than not, a failure is not a deliberate act, but instead an inability of the individual to be successful despite their efforts.  If the individual in punished under these circumstances then you could be doing more harm than good.  

    Imagine your own situation.  You embark on a challenge, you tackle it with optimism, with the best of intentions, and with all of your ability.  Even after this the outcome is not what you wanted and you are met with a range of negative responses from those around you.  Anger, punishment, shame, guilt.  How do you feel and what is the outcome for you?   Some people say "well I just try harder, and re-focus".  While I do promote resiliency after failure and especially after negative experiences, these sorts of reactions to failure after our best attempts can lead to stress, anxiety, and even helplessness.  How can one be expected to do better at something under these conditions?  In one-off circumstances you may double down and get through it, leading to our bias that this sort of motivation really works.  Over time however, being punished for things that you just cant control, or that are going wrong despite your best efforts can result in a sense of lasting helplessness.  This is an absolute motivation and morale killer.

    Punishing behaviour that is known to be against expected practice is one thing, but to punish someone for an honest error, or a task gone wrong can promote a fear of failure culture where people are stressed about making mistakes, hide errors, play it safe, and blame others.  To me this is the opposite of the sort of high performing environment I would want.  

    By allowing people the autonomy to work at meaningful challenges and supporting them through failures, we help build self motivated individuals who take pride in what they do, seek to extend themselves, and build a resiliency after a set back.   Getting mad at someone for messing up something by accident is really quite futile by definition.  A mistake is an unintended error.  And to punish someone for something gone wrong when it was done with the best intentions can be so deflating to the motivation of individual. 

    As part of your leadership tool box take time to consider how you want to handle people in times of failure, and even in times of crisis.  Clarity in this area will limit unwanted negative responses towards your team, and will build trust between you and your people.  They will know you have their backs during the tough times and will likely build the confidence to overcome the obstacle. 

    In extreme cases where the individual cannot learn to be successful despite training and support then perhaps it is time to examine their suitability for the role, and you do your best to help them during a transition to a new position.   But your best chance of success often comes from knowing that deep down inside people will want to do their best, and when supported will not only improve their quality, but it will strengthen their connection to you and your team.

Steve Simonson